Five Beards and Two Finches

Welcome back to my blog. I apologize for my absence. Please nominate these guys for the Nigeria Blog Awards: and .

Yes! I know the title of this post makes no sense. Blame it on the bottle of chilled Ribena. ANYWAYS to understand the piece that follows you need to be familiar with scripture.


Once there was a bearded man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell by the wayside among thorns, and the thorns spring up and choked him. He was the prodigal son and he was looking for the land of milk and money, honey. And as he went on, he didn’t have money, and he met the Queen of Sheba, and she gave him 1,000 talents of gold and 100 changes of raiment. And he got into a chariot and drove furiously, and when he was driving under a big juniper tree, his hair caught on a limb of that tree, and he hung there many days, and the ravens brought him food to eat and water to drink, and he ate 5,000 loaves of bread and two finches.


One night when he was hanging there asleep, his wife Delilah came along and cut off his beard, and he wept, and fell on stony ground. But he got up and went on, and it began to rain, and it rained forty days and forty nights, and he hid himself in a cave, and he said “let there be light” and he lived on locust and wild honey.

Then he went on ‘til he met a servant who said, “Come, take supper at my house.” And he made an excuse and said, “No, I won’t. I have married a wife, and I can’t go.” And the servant went out in the highways and in the hedges and compelled him to come in.

 And the bearded man read the Newspapers and read about the plagues in Egypt in spring, he read about the multiple affairs of the King of Pop David. After supper, he went on and came on down to Jericho in one Accord. And when he got there, he looked up and saw old Queen Jezebel sitting down way up high in a window eating an apple with a snake round her neck. And she laughed at him.

And he said, “Throw her down again.” And they threw her down seventy times seven, and of the fragments that remained they picked up twelve baskets full, besides women and children. And they said, “Blessed are the piecemakers.”

Now, whose wife do you think she will be in the Judgment Day?” – (As told by Ravi Zacharias, tweaked a bit by me)

Did you find this funny? No?

Well, I did…

It is very likely that you didn’t find it funny because you are not familiar with the actual stories in the bible. This is the point: to see the stupidity in the perversion of truth you need to know the truth. Often we take bits and pieces of the word and string them together to produce quips and quotable quotes that support our own ideologies.

From the pulpit to the pews we have neglected the art of diligent bible study and instead gather to ourselves teachers whose sole responsibility is to soothe our itching ears.

Study to show yourself approved unto God. Take the word, eat it whole… Don’t study to share. Don’t study just so you can come and air your own grandeur. Don’t study for the sake of popularity or public applause. Don’t study to prove others wrong.

Study and be fed.

The Word of God is a rich meal. It is buffet of divine assortments. In the menu we have cookies, cream, cakes, healthy carbs, and so on. It is a meal that never ends.

Come, join in the feast.


Have you read Cookies with Christ? Check it out on Okadabooks or Download the Pdf here.


Petroleum engineer? Yup. But I love writing as much as I love solving complex reservoir engineering problems. Watch out for poetry. Still trying to soar the heights of prose tho' Stay tuned dearies.

20 thoughts on “Five Beards and Two Finches

  1. Ha ha ha. This was nice and very funny…It’s a masterpiece.. Old testament and new, prophets and parables…Look forward to reading it again and again and laughing some more. Well done!!! 🙂


  2. I found it funny…stringing those words together was a stroke of genius…and no mean feat!
    Then the way you brought out the lesson of the day, brilliant.
    you do know that you have a gift of teaching right? develop it and see God use the gift to bless millions…
    Thanks for this…you make sense die!


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s