Five Beards and Two Finches

Welcome back to my blog. I apologize for my absence. Please nominate these guys for the Nigeria Blog Awards: @zaphnath_paneah and @EZEDAKING. Yes! I know the title of this post makes no sense. Blame it on the bottle of chilled Ribena. ANYWAYS to understand the piece that follows you need to be familiar with scripture. Enjoy. Once there was a bearded man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell by the wayside among thorns, and the thorns spring up and choked him. He was the prodigal son and he was looking for the land of milk and money, honey. And as he went on, he didn’t have money, and he met the Queen of Sheba, and she gave him 1,000 talents of gold and 100 changes of raiment. And he got into a chariot and drove furiously, and when he was driving under a big juniper tree, his hair caught on a limb of that tree, and he hung there many

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Heaven

It is high noon in the city of Lagos. Horn-free day but there is a racket deep in the heart of Oyingbo.  “Don’t you want to make Heaven?”. The modern day preacher screams “To him that stands, let him take heed lest he falls,” with a solemn look on his face he whispers almost dramatically “God will keep us rapturable in Jesus name.” At the heart of the “gospel” being preached today is that despite being a citizen of heaven the christian is still not guaranteed an automatic slot in heaven. It is said that up till the time of every believer’s last breath on earth,his name must be found in the book of life OR ELSE… According to them (folk in the class of our modern preacher above) the key requirements to heaven are: 1. Holiness 2. Righteousness 3. Truthfulness Rapturable ke? Requirements ke? Holiness, Righteousness are scriptural concepts. But kindly check them in scriptures, they are gifts and the

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Sex

Word Count: 1267 Sex – a great product! Read the Manufacturer’s directions, do what it tells you, and it works! Take a stroll out of your house, and the onslaught begins. It steps right in front of you – parading long, luscious legs and a short, tight skirt that rides every movement of her hips. You look up to distract yourself from thoughts invading your mind, and see a billboard that only entices you further. You run to the comfort of your friends and eventually the conversation turns to the opposite sex – conquests are shared, frustrations expressed, advice is given and you are laughed at because you haven’t done it! That night you go to a movie (or even church); it is rated PG, but the upcoming attractions are not. Most of them sell sex, and you are sitting with your arm around your “boo”  whose skin is warm and soft, her perfume sweetening the aura of her femininity –

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Like Jesus

His speech was decidedly different. None spoke with the same audacity as did Jesus. It is for this reason that many marveled at his mannerism. Even the elements stood at attention whenever syllables would spill out from His tongues. Perhaps it is for this reason that He is called the Word of God.

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I CAN

DAY 1 – And the voice of the Lord came to DAMI in the middle of the Barcelona-ManCity match and said “can a man touch a Live wire and remain the same?” and I answered saying “thou knowest“ One hot Harmattan afternoon during a fast as I was flipping through the believer’s dictionary I found out that one word was conspicuously missing. At first I considered it to be an error from the editors of the book but I later found a footnote etched in blood: “The word Impossible is blotted out of the dictionary of the believer. He walks with God and as such impossible is nothing. The believer has impossibilities and uncertainties for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He is wall-to-wall Holy Ghost. His intestines are lined with adamantium, able to resist the corrosive nature of all earthly difficulty. His face is set as flint!” Yabba dabba doo!!! Knowledge of the divine parameters afforded to the believer will instruct

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